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The Jimmy Failla Bloggin’ Experience – 7/13/10

admin — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 11:47:46 +0000

It’s Official: Delonte nailed Lebron’s Mom

Parma Heights,OH- Delonte West of the Cleveland Cavaliers called a hastily arranged press conference yesterday to apologize for his role in the free agent departure of Lebron James, saying “if he had it do over, he still would have banged Lebron’s mom, but he wouldn’t have told Shaq.”

Speaking to reporters outside of the sold out Lebron Shooting range which allows local gun enthusiasts to test their weapons on the Lebron Jersey of their choice, West said “No one feels worse about Lebron leaving than me because I played the biggest role.” His voiced trailed off before he sobbingly added that “he had to acknowledge it.” West then stepped aside before his agent, David Falk, read an open letter from West to the Cleveland Fans:

Fellow Members of The Cavs Family,

While we are all united in our pain over losing Lebron to the Heat there is one thing we DO NOT SHARE, and that is the responsibility for his departure. You, the fans, have made just about every one of Lebron’s home games a sellout over the past 7 years, you truly could not be more supportive. Not only have you cheered him in victory but you’ve laid off him when he’s shit the bed in big situations. I on the other hand have been anything but a good friend and I can no longer contain my guilt over failing not only Lebron, but you the fans.

As many of you will recall, there was a rumor going around that I was tapping the ass of one Lebron’s Mom. It started right after game five of the playoffs but was quickly squashed by ESPN in return for Lebron giving them the TV Special that announced his “Decision”. Calvin Murphy, a hall of fame guard for the Houston Rockets, actually went on ESPN radio in Houston to confirm that it was in fact true, and at that point I figure the story would run it’s course and I would get it off by ches,. ESPN decided not to make a big news story out of it even though they’d report on what someone tweeted about a soda they just drank. I guess it was another case of them selling out fans in exchange for a couple of extra advertising dollars from this special. Fucking Disney.

ESPN’s decision to stop discussing the “rumor” gave me time to decide if I should come forward or sit back and I decided to sit back but today I can no longer sit back. Seeing the pain Lebron’s departure caused has made it impossible for me not to acknowledge my role in all of this. I am here to say that I am sorry for banging Lebron’s mom and even worse, for telling Shaquille O’neal. That Ni##a has a big mouth. Up until game 4 of the playoffs it was no big deal. I had hit it , you know, here or there but nothing crazy. Bowling alley parking lots, a Steak and Shake Bathroom, you know, regular shit. But one day I came to the locker room to see Shaq checking my I Phone and reading one of her texts aloud and that’s when I knew I had let ya’ll down. And for that I can not apologize enough.

Not only did I cost us Lebron for next year and beyond but I cost us Lebron for the rest of the Boston series. Ya see normally Lebron sits in a beanbag chair sucking his thumb before a big game while zoning out to the Jonas Brothers but when he realized Shaq was clowning on his mom he lost his shit. He ran into the showers, SMASHED HIS MARBLE BUST HE HAD MADE OF HIMSELF, and started crying. At first we thought it was just pre game nerves, I mean, he has no self confidence, that’s why he went to Miami so he could rely on those other ni##as. But then we realized what had happened and that was it. We knew Lebron was done.

I can completely understand if you never forgive me. He meant the world to this place. But trust me when I say that if I had it to do over, I would have hid my phone from Shaq. I will not lie and say that I wouldn’t have hit it because that bi#@h is a F-R-E-A-K, but I could have used more discretion. I am sorry.

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Download the JULY 12TH Podcast HERE: http://bit.ly/cGOWtO

Join Bower & “The Sweet Nasty” Chris Cause LIVE tonight @ 8pm ET/5pm PT! On tonight’s edition of The Wheelhouse we get ready for the 2010 ALL-STAR GAME and bring out the SOAPBOX for this week’s edition of CAUSE I SAID SO! Be there LIVE @ 8pm ET/5pm PT by CLICKING HERE: http://bit.ly/9GAcCX

Why does Oprah Winfrey hate people with Cerebral Palsy?: The Zach Anner scandal continues ( videos) – 7/12/10

admin — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 21:13:54 +0000

We’ve been following the story of Austin’s Zach Anner for some time here at the Comedy Examiner’s Office, but in case you’re just joining us, here’s the scoop: Oprah Winfrey’s retiring from her show this August, and to celebrate her permanent vacation, the multi-millionaire is starting her very own network. Awhile back, Winfrey announced a contest wherein anyone could film an audition tape, send it in, and be in the running to land their very own show on her new network. Zach Anner– an Austin-based standup comic with Cerebral Palsy– quickly gained a stunning amount of video views and votes, but despite his best efforts, it seems that there’s something shady afoot over at Oprah’s homepage: votes and views are vanishing, and even though Anner’s clearly the person with the most support, it now looks as though he might not win. What’s up with that? More details to follow, my gentle Examiner readers…

To read the rest of SCOTT WAMPLER’s article click RIGHT HERE!

Download the JULY 11th Podcast HERE: http://bit.ly/a0GCQm

Join Bower & “The Sweet Nasty” Chris Cause LIVE tonight @ 8pm ET/5pm PT! On tonight’s edition of The Wheelhouse we give our LIVE PREDICTIONS of the 2010 HOME RUN DERBY! We then wrap up the show with this week’s edition of HEY! NICE TWITS! Be there LIVE @ 8pm ET/5pm PT by CLICKING HERE: http://bit.ly/91aGoN

Dave Chappelle causes pilot on private jet to re-route to Pittsburgh following bathroom dilemma – 7/7/10

admin — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 18:56:24 +0000

It’s been awhile since we’ve seen Dave Chappelle, and that’s a real shame: Dude’s still one of the funniest comedians to arrive in the last decade. But following a surprise exit from his hit Comedy Central series, the comic has been laying low. Chappelle popped up again yesterday in Pittsburgh, though it wasn’t intentional. A private jet shuttling Chappelle from New Jersey to Ohio was compelled to land when the pilot deemed Chappelle a flight risk, and the pilot maintains that Chappelle was acting out of turn during the flight. Reps for Chappelle claim that he was just having a massive bathroom emergency. Wait, what? Keep reading for the details, my gentle Examiner readers…

To read the rest of SCOTT WAMPLER’s article click RIGHT HERE!

Download the JULY 6TH Podcast HERE: http://bit.ly/bfFNrx

Join Bower & “The Sweet Nasty” Chris Cause LIVE tonight @ 8pm ET/5pm PT! On tonight’s edition of The Wheelhouse we let YOU the listener PROGRAM the show! It’s WTF!? WEDNESDAY where you DRIVE the SHOW! You can send in your QUESTIONS & TOPICS for us to discuss by either CALLING IN at 347-237-5203 or by E-MAILING US at wheelhouseradio@gmail.com! Be there LIVE @ 8pm ET/5pm PT by CLICKING HERE: http://bit.ly/bTalGp

…And now, the top 5 people who could replace Steve Carell on NBC’s ‘The Office’ (with poll) – 6/29/10

admin — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 21:18:46 +0000

Yesterday, it became official: Steve Carell– who plays Michael Scott on the cornerstone of NBC’s Thursday night comedy lineup, The Office– would be leaving after the show’s seventh season. That means, at best, we have about 23 more episodes left with Michael Scott running the show at Dunder Mifflin. Whether or not Steve Carell should leave the show is totally irrelevant: the actor’s made the announcement, his contract will be up, and there’s no use trying to pretend it ain’t going to happen. So, what to do? NBC’s got a challenge on their hands, and because we’re such big fans of NBC and its executives, the Comedy Examiner’s Office has put together a list of the top five people they should get to replace Carell when he leaves after the forthcoming season. See if you agree with our selections below, my gentle Examiner readers…

To read the rest of SCOTT WAMPLER’s article click RIGHT HERE!

Download the JUNE 28th Podcast HERE: http://bit.ly/d9sEWR

Join Bower & “The Sweet Nasty” Chris Cause LIVE tonight @ 8pm ET/5pm PT! On tonight’s edition of The Wheelhouse we look at VINCE YOUNG & MICHAEL VICK’s recent trouble and whether or not they should be PUNISHED by the NFL! Be there LIVE @ 8pm ET/5pm PT by CLICKING HERE: http://bit.ly/dkec6B

Exclusive scandal news: Did ‘Last Comic Standing’ hopeful Jason Weems steal another comic’s joke? – 6/28/10

admin — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 19:30:17 +0000

NBC’s only a few weeks into their latest season of Last Comic Standing, and already we’ve got trouble brewing. The reality show has been a prime-time staple for years now, but there have been rumors about some unseemly behavior on the network’s part in the past. Like any good reality show, there’ve been accusations that things aren’t always as they seem on Last Comic Standing, rumors of shady behavior on the network’s part during the audition process. Now a new scandal’s brewing, but this time it’s one of the show’s contestants that seems to be up to some scandalous behavior: Jason Weems, who recently got put through on the show to the next round, has contacted a relatively unknown comedienne and accused her of stealing a joke … and the opposite seems to be true. So, did he or didn’t he? You can judge for yourselves below, my gentle Examiner readers …

To read the rest of SCOTT WAMPLER’s article click RIGHT HERE!

Download the JUNE 27TH Podcast (with Jason Weems) HERE: http://bit.ly/9A4U7W

Join Bower & “The Sweet Nasty” Chris Cause LIVE tonight @ 8pm ET/5pm PT! On tonight’s edition of The Wheelhouse we look back at the WEEKEND that was SPORTS with THE WEEKEND STRIPDOWN and we play this week’s edition of HEY! NICE TWITS! Be there LIVE @ 8pm ET/5pm PT by CLICKING HERE: http://bit.ly/9GlNpz

Do you REALLY have to be a jerk? – “The Sweet Nasty” Chris Cause

admin — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 19:21:13 +0000

Do you Really Have to be a Jerk? – 6/28/10

If you’ve listened to the Wheelhouse for a little while now, you know that I’m not really a sit-there-and-take-it kinda guy. I like to speak my mind and I try to hold people accountable. The same goes for my family. So when my wife got a completely unsolicited Facebook email from Baltimore comedian Jason Weems, I got pretty upset and that is why we had him on tonight’s podcast. Here is that email:

“STOLEN JOKE

Jason Weems June 22 at 1:22am

Its been brought to my attention that you are performing one of my bits in florida as if it is your own original work (magic johnson/ AIDS). The way I found this out is that I performed that bit on last comic standing which aired tonight on NATIONAL TELEVISION and some folks I know in florida got in touch with me. Stealing jokes is the worst possible thing you can do in comedy, and if your not inspired enough to create your OWN stuff- QUIT. DO NOT PERFORM MY JOKES ANY MORE.

Jason Weems
www.jasonweemscomedy.com”

While refuting his email, my wife asked for an apology for his allegation and manner, but she did not get one. So lets get into the accusation. It is absolutely and complete false. When Magic Johnson spoke at Michael Jackson’s funeral, there were clips of his speech everywhere. (We posted the video on our old Wheelhouse site HERE – scroll down to July 13^th.) I told my wife she had to see this clip. We joked around about it and she said, “I should do that for my stand-up on Sunday.” She then worked on it, refined it, and performed it for the first time at the Best of British Pub Open Mic night in Orlando, FL on Sunday, July 13, 2009. As she left, we not only talked about it on the Wheelhouse for 3 minutes, I started by saying how my wife was going to do a stand up bit about Magic Johnson’s speech that night.

Here is that clip:

As if that isn’t enough, here is a video of my wife performing that joke at A truly JOYous Evening: A Benefit for our dear friend Joy Anderson at the Best of British Pub on October 11, 2009:

Until last Monday on Last Comic Standing, there is no evidence of Jason Weems performing that joke anywhere on the internet. Here is that clip:

Alleging that my wife stole that joke from him is absurd and impossible. My wife has never been to Baltimore, never mind in the last year, and could not have seen it online, since it doesn’t exist, and we have evidence that my wife and I talked about it as early as July 13^th, 2009. Also, my wife hasn’t performed that joke in about 6 months. A couple of weeks before the NYC auditions for Last Comic Standing. Hmmm…

At best, this is two comedians thinking of a similar joke at the same time. At worst, this is something else. His email raises several questions: how did he find out my wife’s name? If you search “Jeanette” and “Orlando” on Facebook, over 350 women come up. Not one of them is my wife, since she doesn’t have certain search criteria entered on her profile. Go ahead. Give it a try. I’ll wait… You would have to know my wife’s first and last name to find her on Facebook to send her that email. Interesting…

Jason Weems the one claiming to have ties to FL. We don’t know anyone in the Baltimore/DC area. So who do you know in FL, Jason? Who had to “get in touch with you”, 886 miles away? A person who must have been in the exact Orlando club, on an exact night that my wife said the joke, over 6 months ago, and apparently remembered it while watching you perform it. That means you’re the one with people who have seen my wife perform the joke, while I can prove she’s never seen you before. Louder hmmmm…

And the karate joke that Weems used for his audition with the judges, during the same night’s episode of LCS, can been seen on YouTube HERE, posted on February 23, 2010. And yet, you cannot find him doing the Magic Johnson joke anywhere online. I tried. So the A material that he’d use to get to the semi-finals of Last Comic Standing isn’t good enough to make the video of a set at the DC Improv? A set he posted himself on YouTube? Why wouldn’t you want anyone to see it, Jason? Curious…

Scott Wampler of Examiner.com has written an article about this. You can find it HERE

I love my wife. She didn’t deserve an email like this. If we watched the show live, we would have turned to each other and said, “Wow. Someone else came up with that joke too and they are on Last Comic Standing. You must be doing something right!” And gone on our way. Even if Jason Weems emailed her and said, “Hey, I hear we do a similar joke about Magic. Now that I’m in the semis of LCS, could you not do that joke? I appreciate it.” She would have congratulated him and again thought that she was on the right track. What she never would have done is find him on Facebook and accuse him of stealing her joke. Since “stealing jokes is the worst thing you can do in comedy,” you should have evidence to back up your allegations. Or be man enough to say when you were wrong. Unless you know something else went on…

Instead, she is still waiting for an apology.

Download the JUNE 27TH Podcast (with Jason Weems) HERE: http://bit.ly/9A4U7W

Updated: Jay Leno not doing any better in the ratings than Conan did on ‘The Tonight Show’ – 6/25/10

admin — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 18:12:31 +0000

Back when the Late Night Wars were all any of us could talk about, we expelled a lot of words here at the Comedy Examiner’s Office mocking Jay Leno, NBC, and their decision to uproot Conan O’Brien, Andy Richter, and his entire staff from their rightful place on The Tonight Show. As a lifelong Conan fan, it was hard not to take it personally (which is immature, yes, but whatcanyado?). Ever since Conan left The Tonight Show, he’s been touring the country and soaking up the love from all the fans that have come out to see his Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television tour. Meanwhile, back at NBC, Jay Leno’s been watching his ratings steadily drop to the same point that Conan’s were when he was given the boot. Thanks to a new report from TV By The Numbers, we’ve got a good idea just how bad NBC’s decision to boot Conan really was (as if we needed it). See it below, my gentle Examiner readers…

To read the rest of SCOTT WAMPLER’s article click RIGHT HERE!

Download the JUNE 24th Podcast (with CINDY MORGAN from CADDYSHACK) HERE: http://bit.ly/aFT2G7

Join Bower & “The Sweet Nasty” Chris Cause LIVE tonight @ 8pm ET/5pm PT! On tonight’s edition of The Wheelhouse we welcome COMEDIAN JASON WEEMS from this season’s edition of NBC’s LAST COMIC STANDING to the show! We will talk with JASON about what’s been like being part of LAST COMIC STANDING, his COMEDY, how he writes his JOKES and MORE! Be there LIVE @ 8pm ET/5pm PT by CLICKING HERE: http://bit.ly/cEwlep

Scandal: Is Oprah trying to stop a comedian with Cerebral Palsy from getting a show on her network? – 6/23/10

admin — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 19:52:13 +0000

Is something up with Zach Anner’s attempts to land a show on Oprah’s network? Is– God forbid– Oprah trying to fix the race? Yesterday, we reported to you with two videos from the brilliant Zach Anner, a comedian based out of Austin with Cerebral Palsy who’s been trying to land a show on Oprah’s forthcoming network. The media giant has been running an online contest to see who would win the show, and now it appears that there’s reason to believe that the whole competition may be fixed. Surely Oprah’s not low enough to fix a competition, especially one featuring a comedian with Cerebral Palsy….right? Read on for the shenanigans, my gentle Examiner readers…

To read the rest of SCOTT WAMPLER’s article click RIGHT HERE!

Download the JUNE 22nd Podcast HERE: http://bit.ly/9uKZmX

See It Here First: ‘Green Hornet’ trailer finds its way online, is surprisingly awesome (with video) – 6/22/10

admin — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 20:22:31 +0000

Well, all along people have been wondering what Michel Gondry’s first-ever superhero movie was going to look like, and last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, we got our first peek. The trailer for The Green Hornet has now arrived online, so if you missed last night’s Kimmel broadcast (and, really, how could you? You should be ashamed of yourself), we’ve got the trailer in all its glory below. Seth Rogen takes on his first full-blown action role as the titular Hornet, joined by his Asian man-servant (but not his ladyboy– that we’re aware of) Kato. Together, they fall in love with Cameron Diaz and fight the bad guy from Inglourious Basterds in glorious 3D. Actually, the film looks kind of awesome. See it for yourselves below, my gentle Examiner readers…

To read the rest of SCOTT WAMPLER’s article click RIGHT HERE!

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Join Bower & “The Sweet Nasty” Chris Cause LIVE tonight @ 8pm ET/5pm PT! On tonight’s edition of The Wheelhouse we kick off our CADDYSHACK DROP TOURNAMENT by taking YOUR FAVORITE QUOTES from CADDYSHACK! We then dust off the ol’ SOAPBOX for this week’s edition of CAUSE I SAID SO! Be there LIVE @ 8pm ET/5pm PT by CLICKING HERE: http://bit.ly/chbjMK

Funny Video: The funniest video of a stripper fighting a locker you’ll see all day (with video) – 6/16/10

admin — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 18:05:04 +0000

Usually, the “Funny Videos” that we run here at the Comedy Examiner’s Office are either sent in by readers or found by the Comedy Examiner while traipsing around the internet. The video below, however, was found when I heard my roommate hysterically laughing while staring at his computer screen about five feet behind where I’m sitting right now. The title of the article really says it all, but on the off chance that you need something a little more specific, the video below features the trials and tribulations of one very unlucky stripper as she attempts to change at her locker (presumably located in the back room of some strip club somewhere). That doesn’t sound like the funniest thing you’re going to see today, but trust me: it’s hilarious. See it for yourselves below, my gentle Examiner readers…

To read the rest of SCOTT WAMPLER’s article click RIGHT HERE!

Download the JUNE 15th Podcast (with TIM DONAGHY) HERE: http://bit.ly/axVVyG